i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
