Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
