Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
