yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
why is half of my head shaved?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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