question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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