If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
