From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize