You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
