I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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