the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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