My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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