I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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