i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
sarcasm needs its own font
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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