Christians are straight up FREAKS
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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