He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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