My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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