Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
