first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
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i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
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I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
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