What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
