can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
