I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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