Me. At least after what I've been through.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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