Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
