Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
