I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
