I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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