Cold hands, warm shart.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize