Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
