Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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