New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
whose ass print is on the piano?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
