Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
