yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
