did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
