On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
