that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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