Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
