Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
