what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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