so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
