Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
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Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
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Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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