My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
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I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
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Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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