i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
