you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
