i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
