Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
