If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize