dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
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Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
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I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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