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Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Randomize