it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
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I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
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I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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