She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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