She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
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i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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