We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
