We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
