I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize