I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
