sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
