you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
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Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
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You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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