Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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