Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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