You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
