So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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